This again, it’s to do with the myth that people think females don’t have as high a sex drive as men. It’s just that they need more interesting sex to keep them interested. Like the average man would seriously have exactly the same scenario, have sex exactly the same way with a partner every single time they had sex and probably not even bother about it, because he generally ends up with an orgasm.
So to keep Bristol United Kingdom free hookup website a woman interested in sex, Tracey said, you’ve got to give her a sense of adventure and eroticism. For some women that means what many consider “naughty,” “kinky” or “raunchy” sex. For others, it’s about feeling seduced and desired…or playing with toys or talking about your hottest fantasies.
Another myth Tracey debunks in her book is the idea that sexless relationship concerns will sort themselves out over time. Before bringing these concerns up to a partner, she recommends doing a bit of reflecting.
Of course, being a guy or having a penis doesn’t mean you won’t enjoy adventures, but given the hurdles women and vulva owners often face-not because we or our bodies are perplexing, but because of things like wonky messaging and limited sex education-that “orgasm gap” can be pretty real
So say you’re the person that wants sex and your partner’s gone off sex. So you need to sit down and think, right, okay. Do I think that maybe he’s just or she has just forgotten about it? Because sometimes that can happen, because it just becomes a habit, and then it’s embarrassment that, you know, you have to turn to your partner and say, “God, we haven’t had sex in five years. What are we going to do about it?”
So sometimes, it can be that they actually would like to have sex but they just need to get over that embarrassment. Then you need to think about specifically, what do you want? What kind of sex do you want from your partner? And how are you going to feel if they turn around and say, “Actually, no. I don’t want to recommence our sex life. I don’t want to restart it.”
Yes, sex can be great without it, but seriously, orgasms are awesome
Before you go blurting out something like, you know, “We don’t have sex anymore. Why not? We need to talk about this.” Instead of saying something like that, think it through, have some points, and then say something like, “I just want to talk to you about something. You know, I love our relationship. And I really miss the sex that we used to have. Can we have a conversation about getting that back on track or just why it isn’t happening anymore?” Really calm, non-threatening.
And don’t expect your partner to immediately respond, “You know, good point! Let’s calmly talk this through and figure things out.” They might reply that way, but Tracey said that many folks are completely surprised-especially if they haven’t had sex for years-and react with anger or defensiveness: “Well we would have more sex if you didn’t __ or ___.” But at the heart of those responses, Tracey said, is fear.
Lots of people will react with anger or they’ll come out with something like, well, I would be interested in sex, if you hadn’t put on weight or, you know, well, I’m the one that’s out making the money or people react with, with anger, which is just fear, because they’ve taken aback. So, don’t read too much into that. Try not to get too bent and just say, “Look, I just want to have a conversation but maybe let’s do it later. Should we do it later?” Give them some time to think about it, and then come back to it.