Tricia has a Literature degree from Sonoma State University and has been a frequent InfoBloom contributor for many years. She is especially passionate about reading and writing, although her other interests include medicine, art, film, history, politics, ethics, and religion. Tricia lives in Northern California and is currently working on her first novel.
Tricia has a Literature degree from Sonoma State University and has been a frequent InfoBloom contributor for many years. She is especially passionate about reading and writing, although her other interests include medicine, art, film, history, politics, ethics, and religion. Tricia lives in Northern California and is currently working on her first novel.
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Discussion Comments
I just can’t say it and I don’t like to. I don’t show affection at all — no hugs, no kissing, or anything like that. I just don’t have the feelings in me and never have, I also don’t like the focus to be on me. I know it sounds stupid but that’s just the way it is. anon993531 yesterday
: Hey, Sarah here. It is so hard. I struggle with that damn wall every single day. But, on the plus side, once you start pushing yourself out of that comfort zone, it gets easier.
I started with baby steps. Small changes that force me to push myself, like just grabbing his hand. Force myself to do it. Push against that wall as hard as I can. Or like you said, running up to him for a kiss when he comes home from work. I constantly remind myself it’s what he wants. This makes him happy and I want to make him happy. And it makes me feel relieved once I’ve done it.
Also, communication is huge for this. He has to remind me, “Hey, I’m not feeling loved” in so many words. And it will remind me to work on it. I even have to “schedule” a time In which I will do something for him. Like, last week he had a hard day at work. So I told myself, “Okay, make sure you have a beer and a kiss ready for him at the door.” That way, I give myself some time to prepare my brain and get used to the idea. Then once I’ve done it, I feel relieved, and he feels happy! It’s a win win.
As far as sex goes, one that one I haven’t quite been successful. I really have a hard time. But I’m working on it, using the “scheduling” method (and maybe even a little alcohol) to loosen my nerves a bit. Hopefully it will work and this aspect will get easier over time.
My husband seems to like how things are going for now. Hopefully I can make progress, and he knows this is a huge struggle for me, which helps.
And the final thing that probably gives me that extra push to break through that wall is this article and what I wrote. It is a reminder to myself that I love my husband, and I don’t want him to feel like that ever again. I reference this article from Time to time, and have it saved.
How are you accomplishing this long term? I have https://besthookupwebsites.org/sugar-daddies-uk/birmingham/ exactly the same problem and I don’t even know where to start. I want to be the girlfriend who makes my man feel like a king but I hit that same invisible wall. I stand next to him and know I should hold his hand. I sit at the kitchen table and know I should greet him at the door with a kiss when he comes home but I too, freeze up. I don’t get it but something keeps me from doing it. I know he wants these things. I know they will make him happy. Why can’t I? anon989822 3 hours ago