fifteen Imago Discussion Process Imago Discussion is an alternate around three-action procedure to have commitment, created by Harville Hendrix, PhD and you can Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD. The three tips is actually Mirroring, Validation and Empathy. After the partners possess accomplished the 3-action process, or if perhaps he has got received in terms of they may be able (this action requires routine!), feel the few switch spots therefore each mate will get a chance to send and you will discover. The initial step: Mirroring 1. Query you to member of the couple, the Transmitter, to deliver a message in order to their/ the girl lover having fun with We words one to conveys his/the girl thoughts, ideas, or experience. ( I believe, I like, I need ) They have to prevent shaming, blaming or criticizing their spouse, and you may alternatively talk about themselves. 2. In reaction, query another affiliate, new Person, so you’re able to mirror brand new Sender s message word-for-word or by the paraphrasing, playing with a lead phrase such as for instance, Let me find out if We ve had your. Your told you. Enable the Sender to break up their/the girl content into the quick chunks should your Individual has a good tough time mirroring it straight back accurately. step 3. Upcoming, enable the Individual to ask Can there be significantly more? 4. If Sender states, Zero, that s all the, inquire the fresh new Person to summarize everything you the latest Sender told you: Very, in a nutshell We read your point out that Did I have it correct? 5. The latest Sender you are going to next state, Well you missed which little and it s some extremely important in my experience which you tune in to it. Or confirm that the fresh Receiver first got it alright. Step two: Recognition That it an element of the process can be hugely tough if the both couples have quite other position with the anything. But to enable them to hook up, it s fifteen
Sentences to help the couple together contained in this processes: Sender: I’m I like I would like Just what s harassing myself was Receiver: 1
16 IMAGO Lovers Cures Having Pat Like, EDD essential for every associate to understand just what his/their mate states is practical. For the talk, it doesn t matter that is best and you may that is completely wrong. step one. Adopting the Receiver enjoys summarized their/the lady partner, make them confirm him/the woman by just stating that makes sense to me. New Individual doesn t need consent, nevertheless the goal is to try to show admiration on the other s fact. dos. If your Receiver normally, prompt him/this lady to go on: That produces sense in my experience once the 3: Sympathy Inside final step, you enable the Receiver to imagine exactly what their/their lover is feeling. You might let because of the inquiring new Recipient to make use of effortless conditions such as aggravated, sad, alone, afraid, happy, etcetera. 1. Inquire new Individual to express so you’re able to their/the girl mate: We think you are perception and maybe a tiny. Is the fact what you are perception? 2. Next feel the Sender correct which if it is not exact and you can show other attitude, only using We language: I really be otherwise I also feel 3. Feel the Receiver mirror back one correction to exhibit he/she read. Mirroring I’d like to see if We ve got your I heard your state Am I delivering your? 16
Lower than is an overview of how-to support such procedures having one or two you’re coping with
17 Performed I get you meetville hookup to? Can there be a lot more about one? I’d like to find out if I’d everything. In the morning I taking you? Did I get all that? Is the fact good conclusion? dos. Validation You will be making sense if you ask me, and you may exactly why are feel try I could remember that because the I could see how you’ll see it in that way as both I actually do step three. Sympathy We thought you are impact Is that everything re perception?