They say you should think as if it will happen. Last time I started looking at maternity clothes to wear for a wedding, this time I have gone one step further, I have designed the whole of the nursery hahaha, I am also in the process of changing my car, Sadly my fiat 500 is not conducive to a modern day pram. This may seem mad, stupid and perhaps setting myself up for an even bigger fall but you don’t enter into IVF with the thoughts of failure, so my beautiful nursery remains in my head for now but I totally believe that it will become a reality and a visit to farrow and ball with paint charts will be happening so time soon.
It was a different sonographer this time but just as lovely and excited for us
The injections are going well except they sting like buggery for 10 mins and leave the most horrendous bruising. My stomach is literally black. The side effects of the 11 different pills have worn off, I was very nervous of the steroids but by doing the 5:2 diet and regular runs I am winning that war too. So alls good in the hood.
I have been told that I’ll need a scan tomorrow (March 2nd) to measure the lining of my womb. So more research for a clinic was needed. Harley street charge ?180, no surprise there then and my clinic where I had my last cycle said they would gladly do that for me for ?160. Eventually I stumbled across somewhere only half an hour away that will do all of that and email my clinic in Athens with the results for the grand sum of ?50. Yet again the horror of how much these places charge is staggering. Some people will be feeling so vulnerable going through ivf and will just accept the amounts quoted rather than shopping around and our clinics in this country are just taking the bloody mick out of them.
I had my intralipid on Friday, it was like something from a comedy sketch. It wasn’t until 9pm the previous evening that J got back to me to say he could do this but could I get to the surgery ASAP, preferably before 3, so I got there at 2….. No sign of him, he wouldn’t be there till 3 the receptionist said… Eh? Oh well, I’ll wander up the road for a coffee, call my Dad and ask him to join me, it was his Birthday after all. Dad said he might as well join me at the surgery too and keep me company. Eventually J popped his head round and called me and my intralipid ( that had been sitting in a cool box all day in the boot of my car) in. “Right”he said looking at it inquisitively, “what do I do with it?” oh Lordy. Then the fiasco of finding a vein began, I told him he has always been shit at finding a vein in me whilst he declared that he was brilliant at putting lines in! A lovely nurse kept popping in wondering what the hell was going on and J saying it was all legit and her declaring well that was a first for the day. 15 minutes later and 4 attempts in both arms and both hands a vein was located, J was sweating having bashed his head a dozen times on the overhead lamp, I was bruised beyond belief but the line was in. Now he had to decide where to put me and how we were going to keep the bag raised up.
After all every girl loves a bit of bling don’t they?
So we’re getting there, we won’t know when we go back to Athens until the scan has been done and then hopefully P can give us a date to book our flights. I really don’t want her to feel we don’t think of what she is doing for us every day. She is giving us the most amazing gift and every day I wonder how HER medication and injections are going. I want to give her something, girl to girl but I’m also aware how careful we have to be because of the anonymity, so I have found a beautiful silver bracelet with a silver heart charm and had the words “thankyou” engraved on it.
I have two more scans to go, one at 32 weeks and another at 36 weeks and then they will probably induce me at 39 weeks, if not before, as IVF babies are a higher risk the later the pregnancy progresses, so at the moment we are looking at Christmas Eve.
I may not be able to control my changing body but I can hopefully feel better about it now i have my beloved treadmill back in my life.
Week 9 and here we were again at Kent medical imaging. The receptionist recognised me straight away ” getting used to the idea yet?” She smiled, “yes” I said and this time I meant it. We were nervous but didn’t have to wait long at all. This IVF malarkey seems to get a lot of people excited. Twin 1 popped up straight away and was wriggling around, with a strong heartbeat and measurements exactly as they should be. Now for twin 2, the sac was visible but where was it? sadly the embryo hadn’t grown in the last two weeks, it was still measuring 6 weeks and she could no longer detect a heartbeat………oh God had I wished it away? Had all my worrying caused this baby not to survive? I knew those thoughts were silly and so many pregnancies start off this way but I couldn’t help but cry for our lost twin, I was surprised how upset I was. I had got my head round this, Goddamn it and now we are back to statistics of tinder plan A.
Matt walked over to the test, picked it up and slowly walked to me. He stood in front of me and flipped the test so I could see…………. TWO LINES? TWO LINES!…………. Oh God.
The results of the first test wouldn’t be back till I went in on the Friday to do the second test, so it was a nerve wracking couple of days to have to wait but when I did return, the receptionist who hadn’t a scooby what she was reading out announced to the whole waiting room that my HCG was 723, but the other test was abnormal, see a doctor immediately! Eh? What the hell does that mean? I was in a panic, obviously overjoyed at such a high hcg number but what on earth did she mean by the rest? It turned out that she had also read my ca125 test out and sent me into an unnecessary tail spin. Infact when I went in to see the nurse again she suggested we did the ca125 again just out of interest as well as the repeat hcg.