When your relationship is based on trust, it serves as a lifeboat, anchor and sail that keeps you afloat, secure and filled with purpose . When jealousy corrodes the trust and respect in your partnership, the relationship becomes a weight that hinders personal progress. Understanding how to stop being jealous in a relationship is a prerequisite for a healthy union. No matter what baggage the other person brings to the table, you can work on yourself to tame jealousy and create a meaningful partnership.
Why am I feeling jealous?
To truly discover how to not be jealous in a relationship , you must understand that it isn’t about your partner – it’s about you. You must gain a deeper self-awareness about your own beliefs, attitudes and emotions, then learn to transform them.
At its core, jealousy in relationships is about low self-esteem. When you don’t feel confident in yourself or feel that you deserve the love of your partner, you project those insecurities onto your partner. These are limiting beliefs – false beliefs we hold about ourselves and our true natures that hold us back. When you learn how to replace them with empowering beliefs and confidence, you’ll learn how to stop being jealous .
There may be other issues that trigger your jealousy. If your partner broke your trust, you may start feeling jealous when they talk to a member of the opposite sex or even go out with their friends. It’s true that trust must be earned, but it’s likely your jealousy still stems from insecurity that was provoked by your partner’s actions.
If you’re jealous of your partner’s successes, perhaps there’s an unhealthy element of competition that needs to be eliminated or you need to take a look at how you feel about your own accomplishments. But in every one of these scenarios, ultimately you’re projecting your insecurities onto your partner – and it’s your insecurities that need attention.
Negative effects of jealousy in relationships
How does jealousy impact romantic relationships? It goes against the 5 Disciplines of Love – universal principles for building a trusting, healthy union. The discipline of unconditional love and compassion becomes impossible to sustain, because jealousy impairs your ability to love without barriers. It’s also impossible to be truly vulnerable when jealousy is an issue – and vulnerability is another prerequisite for a passionate and loving relationship. If you can’t learn how to not be jealous in a relationship , you’ll never truly connect with your partner on a deep, honest level.
Jealousy also creates tension in the relationship. When you are constantly suspicious, your partner may not be completely open with you for fear of igniting your jealousy. Even when they’re not doing anything wrong, your envy clouds discernment, and it becomes hard to tell the truth from mere suspicions.
You can’t give your partner the freedom to live life when you’re jealous, nor can you truly feel free to live your own life when you’re dealing with a jealous partner. Jealousy can creep into all areas of your life, making it hard to enjoy anything.
This tension can affect the physical, emotional and mental health of both partners. Chronic stress can increase risk for hypertension and heart problems, decrease immune function and even shorten overall lifespan. The lack 420 good grief of enjoyment you feel in your relationship can turn into anxiety and depression . Studies have even found that jealousy in relationships ends up negatively affecting relationship commitment – the opposite effect of what the jealous partner wants.